Apples, Allergies, and Anxieties

Those who know me well know that I'm a hypochondriac. A severe hypochondriac, actually. I know the symptoms to most severe diseases and medical conditions because at some point in my life, I've thought that I had those severe diseases and medical conditions.

The more comedic instances happened when I was around 10 years old, when I thought I was going to have a heart attack, go blind, or develop a pulmonary embolism. (Yep, at age 10, I knew about pulmonary embolisms.) At one point, I was seriously concerned that I would spontaneously combust. (I'm not even kidding.) I kept an extra large glass of water next to my bed at night, so that I could douse and cool myself in case I felt the sudden flare of heat that was common before combustion.

As I've gotten older, many of these irrational fears have faded, but sadly, some still remain. If the lights dim suddenly in a room, my instinct is to evaluate whether I'm losing consciousness or having a stroke. After the blizzard, I asked Crisp (about 20 times) if we could get carbon monoxide poisoning even though we don't have a furnace. (I'm pretty sure he wanted to duct-tape my mouth shut.) Most recently, I've had a panic-inducing fear that I'm allergic to nuts. I've never had a food allergy, but this inherent fear came over me one day that I was going to have an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts or cashews or walnuts or some other nut. I avoid them at all costs now... I haven't eaten peanut butter in well over a year.

You can imagine my ABSOLUTE SHOCK, PANIC, and HORROR last month when I bit into an apple (one of my favorite fruits) and my lips swelled up. An honest to goodness food allergy! I'd worried about it for months, but had not prepared myself for the reality. Since then, of course, I've avoided all apples, as well as cider, juice, sauce, or any baked good that might contain 'em.

Tonight, we got burgers from a trendy restaurant nearby. Mine had green tomato relish on it... And as soon as I finished eating, I noticed my lips were swelled up! Aaahhhhh!!

Fast forward through 45 minutes of me frantically searching the Internet about the probability of allergic reactions to green tomatoes, wondering how I ate a tomato just yesterday without any problems, and scanning ingredients of relish...

And alas, I discovered that green tomato relish at Five Napkin Burger contains apple chutney. Apples in relish! Who would've known? Not this crazy girl.

1. Allergy testing
2. Cheeseburgers
3. Tallahassee