I have been sick since January 1st. Happy 2014, right? What started as some body aches and chills turned into the worst case of the flu that I have seen or experienced in my entire life.
I'd had a tough time with germs earlier in the winter, with a stomach bug in early December and a head cold on Christmas. So when I was feeling crummy around New Years, I thought my cold had turned into an ear infection or sinus infection. It took two office visits (and a Saturday morning phone call to the on-call physician) to convince me that I actually have the flu.
The last office visit, on Wednesday afternoon, was quite the experience. I live only one block from my doctor's office (thank goodness), but still cried at the thought of having to walk "all the way over there" in the cold weather. With the 103-degree fevers and lethargy I'd had, the walk from the bed to the bathroom was quite frankly far enough for sicko me.
Thankfully, with Crisp's help, I made it there and into the exam room to see the doctor. The medical assistant, Doug, took my vitals: temperature, pulse, blood oxygen, blood pressure. He then put the paperwork aside and said the doctor would be with me shortly. I had been told in the waiting room that the doctor was running about 20-minutes behind schedule, so I was surprised when the door opened just a couple minutes later. The practice's head physician walked in with Doug right behind him, which was unusual.
"Hi there, not feeling so great, huh?" the doctor said quickly, taking his stethoscope from behind his neck and putting the ear pieces into his ears. "Your heart rate is very elevated and your oxygen levels are low, which is concerning. We're going to do some tests to make sure your heart isn't working so hard for any reason other than fighting off this virus you have."
The doctor looked at Doug and said "Let's do an EKG, too," and then started listening to my heart and lungs.
Of course I promptly proceeded to FREAK THE HECK OUT.
Thankfully, after many minutes of tests and evaluations and the EKG (in which I definitely forgot my right from my left and accidentally flashed Doug my right breast when he had asked me to cover my left breast), the doctor said that my lungs sounded great and it appeared that my body was just working hard to fight off this virus. He said that he was going to do a nose swab to officially test for the flu, and then send me to the lab for blood work.
"This is going to feel a little weird," the doctor said, as he took a very long cotton swab out of sterile packaging. "You might feel like you want to gag."
He then stuck that oversized Q-tip all the way up my nose, into my sinuses, to the point that I think it jabbed my brain a little bit. The pain of the dry cotton on my inflamed sinuses was excruciating.
"OH MY GOD," I screamed (and I try never to say the Lord's name in vain.) "THAT HURTS SO BAD!!! THAT HURTS SO BAD!!!" I think people in the waiting room could hear me.
At first, my eyes watered from the reaction of the stinging sinuses, but then because of the pain, combined with feeling sick for 7 days straight, plus the sheer panic of thinking that my heart and lungs were failing, I burst into tears. I sat on the doctor's bench, sobbing my eyes out like a little girl.
I heard the doctor apologize and Crisp (who was in the room this whole time to observe me in my moments of glory) explain "I think she's just frustrated because she's been sick for so long."
Thankfully, I was able to pull it together just a few minutes later, dragged myself to get blood work, and somehow mustered the energy to walk home on my own two feet. (Although Crisp did have to coach me a bit.)
Upon walking in the door, I collapsed at the foot of the bed. I was revived momentarily, then was coerced under the covers and fed my new codeine cough syrup. Forty-eight hours later, I miraculously am still alive (but unsurprisingly am still in bed).
The flu is no joke people. Get your flu shot. I am getting mine in August (or maybe earlier!) next year.
1. My sweet and handsome personal caretaker
2. Modern medicine
3. Luden's cough drops (which are pretty much candy but I pretend they're curing me like medicine)
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